If someone asked you to teach them to listen - what would you actually say?
Eye contact? Nodding? Repeating back what you heard? That's the answer most people give. And none of it is listening.
In this episode of Get Superpowered, I sat down with Richard Mullender to unpack listening as a skill.
Richard Mullender is a former hostage negotiator and lead trainer at Scotland Yard’s National Hostage Negotiation and Crisis Unit. He has distilled hundreds of high-stakes negotiations into elite-level listening techniques that work in any conversation, in any room, at any level.
In this conversation, Richard walks you through how real listening - the identification, selection, and interpretation of keywords - turns information into intelligence, and how to use what you hear to understand, influence, and connect with anyone.
You will learn three practical ‘try-today’ moves:
1. Set your outcome.
Before any conversation that matters, decide: what am I trying to achieve?
That outcome becomes your anchor.
When your mind drifts - and it will - it's what brings you back.
2. Listen for the six data points: Facts. Emotions. Motivators. Values. Beliefs. Benefits.
Most people stop at facts and emotions.
The intelligence lives underneath - in why this person is talking to you today, what they stand for, their deeply held convictions, and where they see their win.
3. Sense-check with ‘I get the impression.’
Feedback what you heard as an impression, not a verdict.
If you're right, trust deepens. If you're wrong, they correct you.
Either way, you understand them better.
Listening is not a talent you're born with. It is a craft - built in the constant pursuit of excellence. You just keep getting better. And this is where you start.
Want to learn more about Richard Mullender's work?
Check out The Listening Institute https://listeninginstitute.com/
