What do you need from a partner that you haven’t been getting?
How can someone show up for you in a way that meets that need?
Today, Jay sits down with renowned divorce attorney and author James Sexton for a conversation that redefines what it means to love and be loved. With over twenty-five years spent guiding couples through heartbreak and separation, James has witnessed both the beauty and the brutality of human connection. Together, he and Jay explore the paradox of marriage: how something that begins with so much hope can unravel through silence, misunderstanding, and unmet needs. James shares that the greatest threat to relationships isn’t cheating or money, it’s disconnection: the slow fading of curiosity, gratitude, and presence that turns partners into strangers.
Jay and James invite listeners to look past the fairytale version of romance and into the real work of partnership. They talk about how we’re taught to plan weddings rather than marriages, and why the most meaningful moments come from small, steady acts of care, not grand romantic gestures. Whether it’s remembering to replace a partner’s favorite granola or reaching for their hand without being asked, James shows that a strong marriage isn’t about avoiding conflict, but about staying close even in the uncomfortable moments. He reminds us that love isn't for the faint of heart. It’s an act of courage, one that asks for honesty, vulnerability, and the discipline to keep showing up, especially when it’s hardest.
The conversation becomes less about divorce and more about what love is really made of. Jay and James uncover how relationships can serve as mirrors, revealing our insecurities, our longing to be seen, and our deepest fears of unworthiness. They remind us that to truly love another person, we must also learn to love ourselves, flaws, imperfections, and all.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Stay Connected in Love
How to Keep the Spark Alive in Marriage
How to Recognize When Disconnection Begins
How to Argue Without Breaking the Bond
How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal
How to Talk About Difficult Topics with Compassion
How to Choose Courage Over Comfort in Relationships
Whether you’re married, single, healing, or starting over, this episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, offering timeless wisdom on how to nurture connection, protect what matters, and find courage in the vulnerability that love demands.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
Intro
The Real Reasons Marriages Fall Apart
Why Do We Still Get Married?
The Truth About the Wedding Industry
What Divorce Really Looks Like
The Hard Conversations Bring You Closer
What is the True Cause of Divorce?
The Power of Small Gestures in Love
Simple Ways to Appreciate Your Partner
How We Repeat Our Parents’ Patterns
Navigating Love After Having a Child
How to Reconnect with What Brought You Together
Why Does Asking For Love Feel Needy?
Designing the Ideal Contract for Modern Love
Understanding the Connection Between Desire and Disconnection
Commitment vs. Passion
How to Begin the Conversations You’ve Been Avoiding
The Lies We Tell Ourselves in Love
Should You Get a Prenup?
How to Bring Up The Prenup
Talk Through Your Anger, Don’t Act On It
Using Love As a Weapon
Should You Fight for It or Let Go?
How Parental Conflict Affects Children
Be the Calm Your Child Needs
The Real Problems Marriage Can’t Solve
Who Files For Divorce More: Men or Women?
How Divorce Impacts Men and Women Differently
James on Final Five
Episode Resources:
James Sexton | Website
James Sexton | Instagram
James Sexton | TikTok
James Sexton | LinkedIn
James Sexton | X
How to Stay in Love: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together
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